How Couples Counseling Works

What is Couples Counseling?

Every couple in a relationship is bound to get into a disagreement with each other. Fights, arguments and tension do happen when two people of different personalities, wants, dislikes and needs get together in a relationship. Minor or small disagreements often are solved quickly and are forgotten, however there may be major problems that lead to a strain to the couple that leads to them wondering about the future of their relationship.

How couples counseling works is when two people in a relationship seek the help and guidance of a therapist to help them identify and resolve conflicts and other issues that arose in the relationship. The therapist guides the couple to have clear communication with each other to better air out any unresolved tension, problems and bad feelings with each other. What your New York cognitive behavioral therapist can do for you is to help the couple collaborate together and come up with realistic strategies for the relationship to work again. 

When to Start Couples Counseling?

Usually couples start couples counseling when they know that they can no longer solve their own problems or feel that they can no longer continue in the relationship. When a once healthy and loving relationship reaches the ultimate end full of irreconcilable differences in all manner of decisions in the relationship, couples seek help externally for someone to act as a mediator and guide them to bring back what once was. 

However, if both you and your partner haven’t reached the ultimate breaking point but have feelings of needing help with other issues, this may be a nudge on your part to seek the help of a couples’ therapist. If you want help but do not know why you need help, here are signs that your relationship needs to go to couples counseling.

1. No or poor communication with each other
   No or poor communication with each other is detrimental to the growth and condition of a relationship. Usually, poor communication will lead to miscommunication, conflicts, and bad feelings. No communication to resolve problems may result in couples blaming each other for everything and a change in behavior.
   
2. Feelings of wanting to end the relationship and numbness

When a couple feels that they have tolerated so much in the relationship and just feel that they are in a relationship for the sake of it, they experience the feeling of numbness and wanting to end a relationship. The couple is no longer experiencing the feelings of when they started or that loving atmosphere that was present before.

3. Desire to improve your relationship

When you feel that your relationship is falling apart or miles away to what it once was, you may feel the desire to improve the condition of your relationship and mend the bridge again back to your partner. Feelings of forgiveness, and wanting to improve the communication between the both of you, are warning signs that you have the desire to improve your relationship.

4. Continuous fighting and having no conflict resolution

No conflict resolution is unhealthy in a relationship. What should happen is constant communication and to talk about the problems you have in the relationship to find a compromise that works for the best for the both of you. If you are able to resolve problems and problems you build trust and security.

5. Feeling distant from your partner 

When someone is feeling distant from another, they might not feel connected anymore or are willing to share their thoughts, feelings and emotions. If this happens, they might seek a connection or support away from their partner such as a friend or family.

Does Couples Counseling Really Work?

Couples counseling really works and is effective. Couples enjoy the opportunity to talk about their problems and resolve their conflicts. However the level on which the degree of satisfaction that couples experience can be affected by many factors. There are times that one partner has the desire for the relationship to be mended and one does not. Both partners do not mutually feel that they want the relationship to continue and are feeling emotionally detached already. 

Both partners should be motivated to mend their relationship, they are willingly into the therapy process, no matter how long it will take, both will whole-heartedly follow and do the treatment and advice of their couples counseling therapist, and both should be involved the whole way for any unresolved problems and conflicts to be solved.